Trying to perfectionate yourself as a wife and mother while still having a career to pursue is pretty heavy. And when you feel like you are the only one doing your job right, you start blaming your husband for the exhaustion. Right, this is all about gender roles! Living in a community where even if you are a working woman, you still have to take over the major part of the household chores.
The problem, you see, is not in your busy daily life. Rather, it is in how society perceives your role and image. To everyone, and I mean everyone, you are a wife and a mother who needs to handle the kids and household on her own. In addition to her domestic role, she must have a job in order to suit her husband financially.
Running errands, cooking, doing house chores, and feeding your kids are a mother’s primary duties. However, the way you play your role is the key to a happy family and a happy marriage. What you need to focus on is not what you present to your family but rather how to present it, for your husband and kids will only remember the smile you were able to draw on their faces.
So How to Be Happy with Your Husband?
Rule number one: Share your life with him. Trust me, it is of his utmost joys to share responsibilities with the kids and household. When you and your husband together enjoy marital life, you are able to manage a family.
Again, after kids, you may grow to hate your husband with the profuse amount of stress resulting from several factors. Remember that no matter what the case might be it is necessary to keep your marriage healthy.
Here are some of the precious lessons that you need to learn to keep peace with your husband.
Lesson 1: Divide the Housework. Your Husband Will Enjoy It.
Your husband will be glad to take care of the kids and manage some of the house chores, for he loves being involved. He will enjoy every moment of watching his child smile, feeding, being diaper changed, and taking naps. As for the house chores, they’re boring, I know! Despite that, helping your spouse makes it a lot more fun and saves a lot of time.
Lesson 2: Encourage Your Husband to Participate and Allow Him to Screw Up.
If he doesn’t know, teach him how to sterilize bottles! I am sure it’s your first time, too. Also, allow him to screw up and don’t judge him. He might be brilliant at the office but fail at doing things around the house. Remember to give him time and to self-correct his errors.
Lesson 3: Don’t Wait. Just Do It.
Oh, yes! He was asked to iron the baby’s clothes, and he’s taking his time in the shower. If you can’t wait any longer, do it yourself. Dividing house chores isn’t about being cruel but rather being helpful.
Lesson 4: What Happens at Home Stays at Home.
The arguments that you have aren’t a source of entertainment for others. People will try to soothe you, but you never know who will judge your relationship with your spouse. Moreover, sharing your problems will make your husband feel broken and unwanted, and it will be too difficult to forget.
Lesson 5: Don’t Lose Your Temper.
Did he forget to pick up little Freddy? Run! Go get him yourself and laugh on the way. Make it a funny story to tell to little Freddy when he grows up. Shouting is toxic to your relationship as well as to your health.
Lesson 6: Insist on Your Break.
You certainly need a break! Let it be every other week. Take a day off and a break from home’s worries. Have fun doing your nails or grabbing a cup of coffee with a friend. After a day of relaxing, you will return to your family in a much brighter attitude.
Your husband loves to participate in the household, so involve him. As a married couple, you complement each other. Make sure you take a good break very often to relieve yourself from all the stresses of life. Remember that your family cares about how you give and NOT what you give.
Related article: “How to be a positive mom (even when you don’t feel like it!)”