How will your life change when you learn to love and accept yourself as you are? Have you ever thought how peaceful you would feel knowing that your personality and abilities are the markings that make you yourself? Imagine the life you would live and the deep healthy sleep you would get! You start with building your self-esteem – that matters to you and matters more to your child. When you build your fresh growing child’s self-esteem in Lebanon, you are creating opportunities for her to cope with her mistakes, forgive herself when she fails, and love herself more when realizes her weaknesses.
We parents are at our best when we know our children feel good, and sometimes it is easy to notice when they are and when they are not. (They would enjoy a new toy or a family day out playing in amusement centres and what not.) However, children need our support. Feeling happy at places they like will probably last a few days until they forget. When we teach our dear children how to feel good about themselves, then we are creating a healthy living for them that is void of superficiality and built upon their acceptance of their true selves.
What Self-Esteem Means
Confident children tend to be more realistic about their feelings and speak out truthfully without having the need to be accepted by others. Here is a concise distinguish between kids with self-esteem and kids with low self-esteem:
|Kids with Self-Esteem||Kids with Low Self-Esteem|
|feel liked and accepted||are self-critical and hard on themselves|
|speak without hesitation||feel they’re not as good as other kids|
|have pride in what they do||think of the times they fail rather than when they succeed|
|fantasize good things about themselves||lack confidence|
|believe in their abilities||doubt they can do things well|
Ways to Build Your Toddler’s Self-Esteem in Lebanon
Kids with self-esteem tend to do better at school, at home, and with friends because their parents truly accept them as they are.
Try to build your child’s self-esteem every day:
- Teach her to be proud of her slightest success.
- Show interest in her conversations and make-belief stories.
- Generate discussions and be reasonable when delivering your message.
- Help her focus on her positive qualities not just her flaws.
- Let her try to take risks in small steps.
- Don’t let her compare herself with others.
1- Showing Pride in the Slightest Success and Validating the Negative Emotions
Praise your child’s effort when achieving success rather that over-praising the outcome. Offer most of your praise to effort, progress, and attitude. Say, “You built that tower all by yourself! How do you feel about it? Are you happy? I am so proud of you and the effort you have put into building it!”
Telling a child he played a great game when he knows he didn’t feels hollow and fake. It’s better to say, “I know that wasn’t your best game, but we all have off days. I’m proud of you for not giving up.” Refrain from over-praising and always add a note of confidence.
In one of her TikTok videos, Dr. Jana Bou Erslan; the Lebanese PhD, Lecturer, Coach, and EduCreator, reveals that parents assume, when they deny their child’s negative emotion about themselves, they are boosting their confidence. She assures that building confidence is not about denying the emotion but through allowing the child to express while feeling safe. Instead of denying, ask them questions to validate the emotion and act like you are curious.
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2- Showing Interest in Your Child’s Conversations
No matter how busy you are, never underestimate what your child tries to tell you. Whatever is dull or baby-ish to you, is God-like to her. In fact, once you behave in the same age your child is, she will feel like you are on her team and will act with you – not against you.
3- Generating Discussions
When driving your child to day-care or school, generate conversations about how they will spend their day or how much fun they expect to have. Start discussions about anything that arouses their interest, for that will highly boost their intelligence and motivate them to speak their thoughts.
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4- Focusing on Your Child’s Positive Qualities without Comparing to Others
Pay careful attention to what your child does well and enjoys; give her the chance to develop these strengths. Insecure children often think about how much they suffer at things, such as getting bad grades, not being able to tell joke, or being incapable of riding a bike. Your child may be one of them. However, tell her that no human being is perfect. Show her that there are people who succeed at mathematics and others at language sciences. There are people who are slim and skinny, and others that are overweight. Be your child’s role model. Look in the mirror and say, “I have a round tummy, and I accept it because it is the reason, I have wonderful children.” Then, ask her about her flaws and have her contrast them with her positive qualities. Focus on her abilities and talents. This is what makes her self-confident.
5- Encouraging Taking Risks in Small Steps
Confident children raise their hand even if they are unsure of the answer to the question. If your child does not do that, praise her very small successes as an assurance she is moving forward. Success does not happen without small steps, rejection, and disappointment, so do not frown at her failures but motivate her to keep trying.
A toddler falling off the bed while trying to pull herself up will cry in anger. When, you tell her to climb again over and over, she will realize that falling should not be painful, and she will eventually forgive herself.
6- Perceiving Real Friendships and Responding to Toxic People
Teach your child that real friends will not make her feel uncomfortable when they are around. Tell her that they bring out her best qualities. Spending time with real friends is a pleasure; she can communicate her thoughts freely and generate discussions reasonably.
Individuals who say insulting things to your child or make her feel insecure about her abilities or qualities are known to be toxic, and the best way to respond to toxic individuals is to set limits or spend less time with them. That is why it is essential to teach your young child the meaning of healthy boundaries that will maintain her mental health and, in turn, enhance her self-esteem.
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Giving her a chance to express her thoughts truthfully without expecting an insult is what makes your child confident. We are all victims of our parents’ parenting, especially the old Lebanese type. I do not mean to set blame here, for our parents were differently orientated. However, I do believe in educating ourselves to become cultured parents who value the time spent with their children rather than what others think about them. The basic need for a healthy and successful growing child is “love”.
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